and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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