Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
