No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
