I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize