ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Need sex. Gaining weight.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
