U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
