bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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