you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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