Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
