i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
