Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
