Just fell off a train. Bad.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
