He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
