I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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