Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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