I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize