that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize