I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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