We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
