So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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