On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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