She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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