you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize