my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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