Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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