Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
