I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
