So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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