How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
