shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize