Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
