If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
