I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
