FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
