the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
