sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Randomize
