ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
