i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
