You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
vagina is talking i cant
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just had sex on a roof
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
