I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i dont even know how to be here
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
