Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
