yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
