never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
