Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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