forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
