guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
