worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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