I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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