is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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