At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
