That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
