I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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