he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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