I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
