Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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