pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
