we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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