drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
