I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
