My liver just broke up with me...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
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