Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
