Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
