When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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